You’ve Started Reading Horoscopes

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So, your life isn’t particularly brilliant, it feels more like a long slog than a deep LOL. You’ve started reading your horoscopes religiously and really taking on-board everything they’re telling you.

Mystic Meg has become your go-to-gal when things go tittsy. This is a bad sign my friend. Really bad. It means you are desperate to ‘understand’ where your life is going next. But the problem is, horoscopes are total and utter bollocks. Massively.

If horoscopes worked, NASA would use them to time its shuttle launches – they don’t. If horoscopes were spot on, politicians would refer to them all of the time – they don’t. And you can test this quite easily.

If you really do believe your horoscope gets it ‘spot on’, try perusing the weekly readings for a different star sign and see how ‘spot on’ that is. I predict it will be just as ‘spot on’ because the truth is all in the brain of the reader, i.e. YOU. And stars aligned billions of miles away can’t effect your daily life, I mean, just think about it.

My advice:  Take the power back, horoscopes are an embarrassment. Start writing your own horoscope column for The Sun or Daily Mail. Or, if they won’t let you, start up your own horoscope website. That way you can make up your own destiny.

Word of warning: Don’t tell your mates any of this. They’ll refer to you as Mystic Meg for the rest of your life.