Entertainment Value

And, of course, the most important thing of all, entertainment value for money. What’s the fun and games with monarchy?

Pro:

Well, I mean, where do we even start? There’s all those street parties we’ve got to indulge in over the years, there’s those days off we get for royal occasions (who didn’t love that last year?), there’s those pretty royal palaces, there’s the fucking Tower of London for fuck’s sake, there’s the Queen’s speech at Christmas, there’s even more royal occasions, there’s the highly inappropriate humour of Prince Phillip, and perhaps, best of all, there’s Prince Harry, reliably entertaining Prince Harry. Plus, if we keep the monarchy, maybe we can hope some unfortunate accidents befall a few choice members (you know the ones) and we get to have him as king. Which can surely mean only one thing, right? Even drunker royal occasions, more weed, and more day offs. HARRY FOR KING!

Con:

Well, there’s all those royal occasions, there’s the Queens speech at Christmas, there’s even more royal occasions, there’s the highly inappropriate humour of Prince Phillip, and there is the throat choking forcefulness of the media with covering anything to do with the royals; all other, real entertainment, like shit TV, is left by the way side in place of incessant, repetitive coverage of anything, and everything, as we lose even news to journalists lingering round waiting for a baby to fall out of a woman. Which reminds me, if these 25 THINGS are more exciting than the royal birth, doesn’t that say a lot for royal entertainment?

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So there it is, a terribly put forward case for and against the monarchy, and I’m not going to give you the answer either, that’s up for you to tell us. What do you think? Oh, I imagine you could’ve done better, put forward better points, argued more coherently, and first you’ll tell me so, but fuck you, I already know I did none of that. How about it though, what’s your thoughts on this?

Do we need a monarchy?

Okay, I’ll give you the answer, it’s no.