But how would you go about trying to test a hypothesis like that? Our modern scientists can set up computer simulations of atoms, that’s as far as we can go at the moment but even in these simulations, where everything is carefully programmed in at the start, complex rhythms and patterns emerge that weren’t initially programmed in. These are called “signatures of resource constraints” and it’s these signatures that theoretical physicists are looking for in real world cosmic rays to try and test the theory. It begs the question: who are the entities that are running our own personal simulation? We can’t know of course, but whoever they are, they’re proper bastards because lots of people are having a pretty horrible time down here and they don’t seem to be trying to help.

In some ways, everything is possible; if you give something long enough, anything could happen. But how can we really test it? We are trying to measure glitches in a hypothesised system that we are assuming shares the same glitches as our completely different and very basic current systems. Do I believe the theory? No. I don’t. Why not? I don’t want to. And that’s why I don’t write for the New Scientist.

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