3. Martin Bryant
Martin Bryant was born in Tasmania in 1967. As a child, he was described by his own mother as ‘annoying’ and ‘different’ and he bullied, and was severely bullied by, other children. He also enjoyed torturing animals and found it impossible to make friends. As Bryant grew older, it became clear that he had serious emotional problems, and he was discovered as an adult to have an IQ of 66, roughly equivalent to that of an 11-year-old. So in short, Bryant was, much like Justin Bieber, an irritating retard.
In adulthood, Bryant was unable to hold down a job, and was so goddamn stupid that he began to receive disability benefit from the Australian government. During his 20s, he somehow managed to befriend an eccentric older woman who lived on a nearby farm. When she died in a car crash (which some believe was caused by Bryant grabbing the steering wheel — apparently a habit of his), she bequeathed him the equivalent of £300,000. Bryant would later inherit even more cash when his father committed suicide. Using this money, the obnoxious, profoundly unintelligent fuckwit travelled the world and bought luxury cars, clothing and property. There’s no justice, eh?
Despite his luxurious lifestyle and ample funds, Bryant had no friends and often complained about his social isolation, which seems to have been the main motivation behind his killing spree. As well as buying a lot of clothes, Bryant also bought a lot of guns, and on April 28, 1996, he began, tragically, to put them to use. After shooting and stabbing to death a couple on a neighbouring farm over a long-running property dispute, Bryant drove to the Port Arthur historic site and ate at the café there. After finishing his meal, he pulled out a Colt AR-15 and began indiscriminately shooting diners. Within the space of 15 seconds, Bryant had killed 12 people and wounded another ten.
Bryant then made his way to the gift shop, killing another eight victims, before making his way outside and continuing the bloodshed. After claiming several more lives, he stole a car and left Port Arthur, stopping at a service station to shoot dead another woman and abduct two hostages, who he locked in the car boot. As he drove down the highway, he continued to shoot at other vehicles, thereby killing another three people, until he got back to his home. After an 18-hour standoff with police, during which he murdered both hostages, Bryant set fire to the house and finally emerged before being arrested. He had killed 35 people, and wounded another 24. Bryant is currently serving 35 consecutive life sentences, plus another 1,035 years without parole.
You may be interested to learn that in the run-up to the massacre, Bryant would consume half a bottle of Sambuca, a bottle of Baileys and copious amounts of port EVERY SINGLE DAY. If that’s not demented, I don’t know what is.
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