Veteran news reporter David Dimbledy has revealed that he has got a really crap tattoo of a scorpion on the back of his right shoulder. In a new play on YOLO, he revealed that he got the tattoo because ‘you’re only old once’ and he’s always wanted to get a tattoo. He then added that ‘it was a dream come true’ which makes him sound more like a 15 year old kid rather than someone who’s had the power, money and time to get a tattoo at any point in his life in the last 60 years.

The tattoo came about thanks to Dimbleby’s new show (amazingly people are still giving him new shows, yeah) called Britain And The Sea in which he examines Britain’s relationship with the ocean. In one episode, he was looking into how body art first came to the UK as he investigates Captain Cook’s adventures in the South Seas. He was given the chance to get a tattoo but completely wussed out and instead got a black outline of one. Later on, when he was watching the tapes back he realised that he had completely pussied out and decided to go and get one in East London.

In an even more pretentious quote, Dimbleby said that as he was getting the 30 minute tattoo he thought of when Winston Churchill got a tattoo to get him through it, although ‘it didn’t hurt that much, it just zinged a little bit.’ Great.

Here’s hoping this doesn’t lead to more old people getting tattoos as it’s fairly obvious that the only way anyone was even going to hear about Britain And The Sea was if Dimbleby did something extreme to promote it. In fairness it’s kind of worked, but I doubt anyone is going to tune into it who wasn’t before and instead everyone is just going to think Dimbleby is completely weird for getting his first tattoo – and a really turd one at that – at the age of 75. If anyone cares he said it represented his star sign (original) and it was ‘discreet and modest.’ Nice one bud but it isn’t gonna make you any more relevant in the demographics that matter pal.

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