Everybody’s favourite Instagram playboy Dan Bilzerian appeared on the Howard Stern show yesterday morning (yeah I was amazed that Howard Stern still had a show too, but hey) and proceeded to reveal a hell of a lot about his life and everything that has happened to him, and perhaps also gave us proof that having all the money in the world can make you insanely happy.

You can listen to the interview in its entirety halfway through the post, but here are some of the more interesting parts if you can’t be assed listening to a one hour interview.

On Poker
-He’s won a net of $50 million playing poker this year.
-The most he’s lost playing poker is $3.6 Million… and he’s done that three separate times.
-Gambling was the only thing that gave him a rush after going through the military, but he says he wants to stop. When he wins he doesn’t really give a shit, but when he loses it makes him miserable.
-He advises anyone who is thinking about going into professional poker not to do it. It destroys your value of money, and he claims the highs aren’t as highs as the lows are low.
-He doesn’t like playing with celebrities like Toby Maguire because they don’t want to gamble as much, and are basically pussies. He’s more into having billionaire corporate type dudes up to his place in Vegas or LA for high roller games.

On Growing Up
-His dad was a corporate takeover guy who was valued at $400 million at one point. Suffice to say, living a lavish lifestyle is not something that is new to Dan.
-In 1989, his dad was indicted on some white collar crime charges.  Dan said that kids at school were teasing him that his dad was going to jail, but he just laughed it off… until his dad drove him to school the next day (something that he claimed never happened), and told Dan he was going to jail.
-Dan put up a third of his own trust fund money in order to get his dad out of jail, and not only was his dad not happy about it, he was so pissed at him for handing over so much money to the government that he didn’t talk to him for eight months.
-He’s always had a fascination with guns, and received his first gun when he was 6. This ended up getting him in trouble his senior year of high school (1999), as he bragged to friends about the M-16 he had in the trunk of his car. When it got back to school administrators and they confronted him over it, he owned up to it, and as a result, he was thrown in jail for three weeks. Not only did he have to go to jail for three weeks, after he was released, he was kicked out of the state of Utah. He had to leave high school, and his mom took him back to Tampa, while his dad stayed in Utah for business purposes. He has since gotten the arrest expunged from his record, and is now welcome back into Utah, although I’m not sure why anyone would want to go there.

On SEAL Training
-After being kicked out of high school, Dan joined the military, attempting to become a Navy SEAL. He completed 510 days of SEAL Training, just to end up getting kicked out two days before graduation for a “safety violation,” which he claims came down to his commanding officers not liking his problem with authority. He ended up leaving the military after four years with an honourable discharge.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RroWO3xeluw

On Chicks
-Dan claims that he wasn’t as much of a cocksman back in the day, and barely got laid in high school, or the military. He thinks his preoccupation with chicks now is probably him making up for lost time.
-After a slow high school and military banging career, he came out the gate strong, banging 14 girls his first semester of college.
-Where do all the girls in his pictures come from? “Promoters are really good for rounding up girls.”
-The most amount of girls he’s ever banged at once is four. He’s been in situations where there have been more girls physically in the room with him, but the most that were ever active in the sex was four.
-He just broke broke up with his girlfriend two days ago. He’s had a girlfriend this whole time?!? He says that she was a very accommodating girl who was open to threesomes and letting him bang other girls, but ultimately, he decided his lifestyle is not conducive to having a girlfriend right now.
-He says he’s upfront and honest with chicks that he hooks up with, and doesn’t promise them the world like other guys. They know what they’re getting themselves into with him. He tells them straight away that it won’t be anything serious, and if it’s a problem for them, he lets it go. He says that he won’t chase chicks.
-In Cannes, Dan banged 16 girls in 12 days. All Playboy playmate quality women.
-He said he’s only banged one fat chick in his life, and that was enough for him.

Random Dan Facts
-He has a staff of twenty people who work for him, including three assistants and three chefs.
-He’s a very bright guy, having scored 94 out of 99 on the military intelligence test, and a 1340 on his SAT (despite taking it five years after having dropped out of high school).
-He’s been training in MMA for four years.
-He’s had two heart attacks, one large one and one minor one, both within twenty-fours of each other. The heart attack was caused from consuming a mixture of Viagra, cocaine, ecstasy and booze. To give you a sense of how much Viagra he took that led to the heart attack, Viagra pills come in sizes of 25 mg, 50 mg, and 100 mg. His friend gave him a 100 mg pill and told Dan to split it in half, and instead, he took two of them. He said he thought it was necessary because he had been up drinking heavily for three days, and was about to bang a stripper with a condom on. He was 25 at the time.

On His Film Career
-One of the founding members of Facebook once offered him $100k in a poker game to shave his beard, which he refused, but then he had to shave it anyway to play a secret service agent for the movie Olympus Has Fallen. 
-He put up a million bucks to finance the movie Lone Survivor. He did it in exchange for a part in the movie, and because the story was important to him, as a guy he went through SEAL training with was one of the guys who died during the mission. The million bucks he put up was supposed to guarantee him at least eighty speaking lines, and a couple of minutes of screen time. After pretty much his entire performance was edited out, he sued the production for breach of contract. But the movie ended up doing so well, he said he’s now gonna drop the lawsuit, as he’s making more money from his backend participation than he could any lawsuit.

A Note To The Ladies
-When asked what the best way to bang Dan is if you’re a hot chick, he said that sending him naked pics on Twitter is a step in the right direction, although he soon hopes to hire a “Pussy Coordinator.”