Everyone knows there’s a stigma about having a small dick when you’re a human, but I didn’t realise that this translated into the animal kingdom as well.

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Sadly it seems like this is an issue throughout nature though, as one crocodile has been unable to have children despite trying for fifty years because of his tiny penis. Hektor the crocodile first met Luiza at the Poznan Zoo back in 1973 and they’ve been together ever since, having sex multiple times a day but Luiza has never been able to conceive.

The zookeepers have finally figured it out though and it turns out that it’s nothing to do with Luiza’s fertility but rather because Hektor has such a small knob. Apparently that’s a big deal when it comes to having children in the reptile world, at least according to one named Malgorzata Chodyla:

Eggs were produced several times, but nothing came of it.

Our staff had no idea what was the reason for the failure. The truth only came to light during the visit of specialist doctors from Germany.

Hektor needed a lot of research and consultation from a gastrologist because he did not have any appetite.

It turned out he was fine. However, the reason for his infertility came to light. The doctors said it was not surprising that Hektor’s efforts were futile, because his willy is too small.

Hektor is always very loud and hundreds of visitors come to see him moan and groan.

Hektor and Luiza are already too old for IVF treatment and anyway this is an expensive procedure that is used only for endangered species.

Damn. Not sure if Hektor wanted kids in the first place but even if he didn’t it’s probably still a wounder to hear that you can’t have them because your dick is too small. Ain’t no guy gonna be happy about hearing something like that.

Hopefully this news doesn’t affect Hektor and Luiza’s relationship too much though and they can live out the rest of their days shagging away to their heart’s content in the zoo. You can’t make up a love that pure.

For more crocodiles, check out this crocodile that is literally the worst crocodile of all time. Yeowch.