Elmoassassin:

I dated a girl with a fantastic ass, the kind of ass that launches a 1000 ships. She had one specific pair of shorts that were my favorite by far. Once I told her this she stopped wearing them around me, seriously not even once. About 9 months later as our relationship was starting to fall apart (she was in love with her cheating ex, long story) I went into her house when she wasn’t home and took (read: stole) them. If I couldn’t enjoy them he sure as hell won’t.