A retired couple from Melksham (it’s in the UK) are counting themselves lucky after a massive lump of poo dropped from the heavens and smashed through their roof. Keith and Ruth Mead were minding their own business over the weekend when they heard a loud crash from outside. They rushed out thinking it was a nearby car accident but soon noticed a gaping hole in their roof and a seven-inch dagger of ice lay out on the lawn.

After a brief analysis, they noticed that it was in fact a frozen lump of treacherous corn loaf. They didn’t throw it out — remember this is Melksham — but instead opted to whack it in the freezer so all the tourists (and insurance assessors) could see:

It was just as if someone had crashed into our house. I looked up and there was a gaping hole where a large lump of ice had impacted the rood.

Thank goodness it didn’t hit anyone. It could have killed them.

I don’t know, Ruth: if I have to pick a way to go, that’s going to be it.

The couple are now asking the insurance company for £1,000 to repair the damage the crud cannonball did. They should really be thanking their lucky stars, though. It’s a miracle. If a bird shits on you you’re probably going to win the jackpot on a fruit machine, if a human shits on you from a plane, it’s Euromillions time.

If Ruth wants luck, she should have a look at these 28 heart-stopping lucky escape GIFS.