‘Child’ Spotted At A Swinger’s Party Was Actually Just A ‘Very Short Woman’

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It must be pretty difficult for people who are really short to try and live their regular lives and not get mistaken for children, but usually this would only lead to some slight embarrassment rather than a full on police investigation.

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I imagine that most people that are lucky to be short enough that they could be mistaken for children probably aren’t regularly attending swingers parties though which is why it’s less of an issue. There’s always one though and that person forms the basis of this article.

Police were called when a neighbour of CLubF in Stanley, County Durham saw what they thought was a child entering the known swingers club at around 9pm. After they showed up for a raid though, they realised that there weren’t actually any children in the club and that the woman was just actually really short. Awkward.

Here’s what a spokesman for Durham Constabulary said:

red light lampshade

Police were called at around 9pm on July 16 2015 following concerns a child had entered a hotel named CLubF on High Street, Stanley.

Officers spoke to the staff at the hotel who confirmed the female was one of their customers who was an adult woman.

Not really sure why this is only coming out now considering it happened almost three years ago, but hey at least we’re hearing about it I guess. That’s the main thing.

Gotta feel pretty bad for CLubF though as they had done literally nothing wrong. The short girl is probably used to it as it happens all the time so hopefully wasn’t that bothered, although it might really have affected her enjoyment of the club if she was getting boned by some random dude when the police showed up. I guess if you roll the dice, you’ve gotta be prepared to see what happens.

Apparently the establishment has a bit of a reputation in the area as police have been called to it 20 times since its opening in 2015, despite the fact that it’s one of the premier clubs of this style in the country and emphasises friendliness, fun and safety for its members. I guess the fully equipped dungeon complete with a mistress and pole dancing facility hasn’t exactly pleased people in the area eh? Prudes.

For more swingers, check out this crazy story about swingers playing Russian roulette with one HIV+ person. Out there.

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