I don’t really know who Chantelle Houghton is but she just had a meltdown of epic proportions on her twitter account so I had to share it on Sick Chirpse and get some research done ASAP. Her twitter account isn’t verified but it’s got like 250,000 followers on it and she’s clocked up around 1700 tweets on it so you would think that it’s legit and that this meltdown is legit, unless someone has hacked into it but her tweeting ‘style’ is very consistent with the rest of her tweets so I’m gonna go with it being real. Ok but now the big question is, just who is Chantelle Houghton?

Turns out she won Celebrity Big Brother one year (it makes sense why I haven’t heard of her now) even though she wasn’t exactly a celebrity (remember that year? What a twist!) and married Preston from the Ordinary Boys. OH it’s THAT Chantelle. I guess I do kinda know who she is now but I definitely wouldn’t have remembered her unless I just checked out her wikipedia page.

Anyway, everyone knows that her and Preston broke up as the Ordinary Boys faded into obscurity and apparently she shacked up with another Z list celebrity in Alex Reid. That’s the same cage fighting cross dressing weirdo Alex Reid who was dating Katie Reid/Jordan for a bit and had a much publicised break up with her, which again I fortunately managed to miss because I don’t care about any of that crap really, except when it’s mad LOLZ like this twitter breakdown.

So yeah she was dating Alex Reid for a bit and the two got engaged and had a kid. Apparently Alex Reid was attracted to her and went after her because she was described as the ‘new Katie Price,’ which is frankly just creepy, but then I guess the only reason Alex Reid is even a celebrity is because he’s a super creepy guy, I mean who ever heard of a celebrity cage fighter who was actually a celebrity because of his ability  (or non-ability in the case of Alex Reid, who actually has a pretty terrible cage fighting record from the brief research I just did) at cage fighting? We’re talking lame ass UK cage fighting too, not UFC because some of those guys are actual celebriites. I mean Chuck Liddell was in Entourage once.

Anyway, about a month ago Chantelle and Alex Reid split up and there was obviously a lot of beef  because Alex Reid had clearly facilitated it by being a complete weirdo and Chantelle has been on her twitter the whole time denying/saying stuff about it but it looks like she totally lost it today about 2 hours ago. Here’s a screen grab of her tweets:

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Er wow right? This might be one of my favourite twitter meltdowns ever, and it kind of makes me wish I had followed the story of Alex Reid and Chantelle Houghton a bit closer to be honest, although they’re such Z list celebrities who are desperate to be more famous that it makes me feel a bit sick even giving them publicity of Sick Chirpse.

Still, some of these tweets are gold, I especially like the one where she believed Alex Reid’s cross dressing was a publicity stunt. I mean that’s why all men cross dress right, for publicity? Not to have sex with men or because they’re transgendered or anything, just for publicity, right? Such good publicity too, I mean every man that has cross dressed is pretty much universally loved by the public? It seems like a no-brainer that more men don’t do it for publicity.

I was also particularly fond of the final tweet where she texted the guy that Alex Reid had been scheduled to have sex with and ‘told him what I thought of him.’ Wow, you really showed him sister. Telling him off through a text message, you go girl. I wonder if he replied or just sat there, redfaced and embarrassed at having been found out and subsequently told off, like a little kid who just got told off for stealing someone’s lunch money.  Granted, he probably realised something was up about a year ago when Alex Reid didn’t show up to blow him or whatever, but I bet he’s glad he had the record set straight. He’s probably resolved to never fvck anyone’s husband again too I’m sure.

I was gonna try and do a recap of their relationship in this article but there is so much fvcking crap going on in it that I really can’t be bothered to sift through it, I only wrote the article because the meltdown is LOLZ and Tourist told me it would be a good idea. From what I can tell though, Alex Reid is a freak (kinda already knew that and don’t even know who he is really) and Chantelle Houghton is an idiot who I kinda feel sorry for because she’s such an idiot. Kinda like her idol (according to her wikipedia page) Paris Hilton. Ugh, people huh?

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If you want more updates on this check out Chantelle Houghton’s twitter because I’m aiming not to cover any more of her tweets unless they’re as funny as this one. Every chance they might be though so if you’re 50/50 on following her maybe leave off for your own good and just stay tuned to Sick Chirpse in case something mental does happen again.