Richard Madeley

Richard Madeley is a lovable television personality and British gentleman who had been living it up on the screens of ITV for a good 20 years before being offered the job of babysitting a walrus on Channel 4. Richie Rich couldn’t help but get bitten by the klepto bug in 1994 when he got found out at Tesco trying to nick his way through a couple of pricey bottles of champagne. Madeley later explained everything in a tell-all interview where he joked about being so over-confident that he was almost forced to steal the champers.

“I was just not concentrating. I put the food through the till, I forgot to take the champagne out. It was, I can handle anything, I can juggle eight balls in the air, and actually I came a horrible cropper. I can joke about it now.”

Madeley was later cleared of all charges as well as offered a role in Cirque Du Soleil where he began in his spare time jumping up and down on his walrus Judy’s belly whilst juggling 8 balls in the air.

Madeley finished by aptly describing just how vile the idea of shoplifting from Tesco really was:

“But that year was horrible. The publicity was mortifying. If I’d been accused of robbing a bank, at least it’s got a bit of glamour to it, but fvcking shoplifting… It’s like wanking in a public toilet. Just horrible.”

Personally I don’t think wanking in a public toilet is that bad, Rich.