Britney Spears

Strutting around in a cheeky little school girl outfit with built in pigtails requesting to be the victim of assault and battery might be the way many of you remember the plucky pop princess – but since having her soul stolen by Wicked Witch of The West Madonna (brought to you exclusively by Sick Chirpse) she’s taken a massive turn for the worse. What goes up must come down – and boy did she – from the very top of pop stardom to the very recesses of society. The year after losing her soul to the devil incarnate a series of events were sparked which led to her complete breakdown in 2007. She checked in and out of rehab, was scrutinized for child neglect and got caught stealing several times which led to a rally of defensive support from weirdos and freaks alike (didn’t see any of the Mickey Mouse Club coming to her defence):

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Spears was even caught doing the dirty by one silky reporter – god bless you technology:

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Britney can be seen sarcastically quipping to the camera, “I stole something. Oh, I’m bad. Ohhh!” After lifting a 50 cent lighter ($0.50 not the rapper) from A Chevron Food Mart, manager Avram Grant had this to say, “I don’t say to her nothing about it because too many news people follow her.” Poor old Jabba the Hutt.

Cum dumpster Britney was also caught doing what can only be described as the classiest form of five finger discount later on that year when she openly stole from a sex shop. After arguing with staff members who would not let her try on (and thereby transmit AIDS to) a pair of underwear, Britney snatched a wig off a mannequin and left the dirty sex shop without paying for it. The following year she rushed out of Fred Segal, accidently wearing a $200 top she hadn’t remembered to pay for…Oops she did it again (too obvious? Yeah? Who gives a fvck).