In a world where any old numpty can post something online (points finger at self) it can be hard to find anything worth reading. You have to wade bowels deep through dross before finding anything even resembling original/ funny/ interesting/ correct information.
Major news siphons and internet rags now have to compete with every other person with a valid/invalid point of view. One of the major ways they get round this new and voracious enemy is by smashing up endless articles filled with complete and utter guff, or ‘non-news’ as I call it.
The worst thing about this is that people must be clicking on these things or they wouldn’t bother writing it all. The poor old Daily Mail and its cohorts have had to resort to multiple daily non-news items just to stay afloat.
The best place to find these non-news gems is, of course, in the celeb drivel section; As we all know, celebrities aren’t news in the first place so they’re already scraping the bottom of a well scraped barrel before they put scabby finger to dirty keyboard. I hate them all. Here’s four clangers I’ve found just from today. The mind boggles:
1) Shoes
Website: Daily Mail Online
Date: 19th February
Headline: Flat’s a relief! Ex-Emmerdale star Roxanne Pallett drives home in comfy Ugg boots after teetering in skyscraper heels all night
More Fitting Headline: Woman Changes Shoes
Summary: Roxanne Pallett, from the underwhelming TV dog turd Emmerdale, was at some swanky celeb-hell bash wearing neck-breaker high heels. Before driving home she changed into more comfortable shoes.
That is not news, it is simply sensible behaviour.
Quote To Note: “Roxanne thought she had got away with it, until a earnest cameraman caught her”.
Look, I’m not saying I’m the spelling and grammar lord of Sussex, but it should be “an” not “a”; also – earnest? Is that really the right word?
Favourite Reader’s Comment: “Wow she has really nice feet”.
☛ Next: PHOTOS: Man Who Hasn’t Worn Shoes For Eight Years
