Fucking cats. If they’re not getting baked or turning down friendship from dogs, they’re holding entire families hostage and just generally causing complete pandemonium.

Well it turns out it’s in a cat’s DNA to be completely miserable and want to fuck shit up all the time, because they don’t even enjoy being stroked or petted.

Cats Protection behaviour manager Nicky Trevorrow had this to say, when research found most people believed petting their cats lowered their anxiety levels:

Being held or stroked for too long can be very stressful for some cats. Space and peace is often what they need. They are not small furry humans, so what would comfort us will not necessarily comfort them. Owners love their animals and want them to be happy but our research has highlighted a lack of understanding.

To be fair, the cat in the photo above looks like she’s enjoying it. Maybe she’s pretending and it’s all just a daily ploy to get fed delicious cat food? Gotta respect the hustle if that’s the case. On the other hand, this cat clearly hates being petted:

Either way, cats should generally try being nicer, could be good karma for the next time they wind up trapped in some ridiculous place.