Heavy Metal Cruise Ship
I’m too old for festivals, and too grumpy… but if it’s a festival on a cruise ship to the Bahamas I may well think again. 70,000 Tons of Metal on the sea.
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LIFE
VIDEO: Awesome Turkish Dancers Help Me Beat Winter Blues
No one likes to be dark and cold for 4 months a year, so watch these Turkish dance lords and bring some sun to your heart and lungs.
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VIDEO: Easter Play – Floating Jesus Fail
Christmas has buggered off, Easter next. Here’s a video of Jesus’ rear end to soothe your Boxing Day blues.
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History Of The Hitler Moustache
Have you ever wondered where Hitler’s distincive tash came from? Probably not, but I have. Here’s a potted history of the most infamous moustache in history.
Um Mum Why Didn’t You Get Me An iPad For Xmas? I HATE YOUR GUTS!
Were you disappointed when you opened your Christmas presents this morning? If so then don’t worry because there’s a bunch of ungrateful kids around the world who wants to let everyone on Twitter know just how ungrateful they are.
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Father Christmas’ Evil Sidekick – Krampus
Krampus is Father Christmas’ terrifying enforcer. You better have been good this year… I bet you haven’t though, so look out.
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Bears Fired Out Of Aircraft At Supersonic Speed
Here’s an article about the US military firing bears out of aeroplanes at the speed of sound. Yup, they really did that.
My Favourite Misogynistic Album Covers
I’m no sexist, but the blatant misogyny in these mental album covers just has to be enjoyed. So swallow a box of salt and switch your moral compass to hibernate
Toddler Snatched By Eagle – Fake?
So there’s this big eagle and it snatches a toddler in a park. Maybe it’s a fake? Who gives a shit… maybe we’re all computer simulations anyway?
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What Do People In Japan Have For Christmas Dinner? – KFC
I’d never wondered what the Japanese ate for Christmas dinner, I didn’t even know they bothered. But they do bother, and it’s not what I would have guessed.
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Women Snogging Chimps For LOLz
A joke’s a joke, but tricking people to get it on with apes? Yeah that’s pretty jokes.
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Where’s The Best Place To Hide When The World Ends On December 21st?
So if the world does explode on the 21st December 2012 (which it won’t) and the end of days is truley upon us (which it isn’t) – where can we escape to?
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Where Is The Foreskin Of Jesus?
Anyone seen the foreskin of Jesus knocking about? No, me neither, gimme a shout if you find it yeah? It’s got to be worth a few bob.
People Of Walmart – What Do You Wear Shopping?
When I go shopping I like to cover up and get the job done as quickly as possible. In Walmart people seem to do the opposite – dress like plums and hang out.
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What’s The Toughest Animal On The Planet?
If I had to guess, I would have said the shark was the hardest in the animal kingdom. As often happens with me, I was wrong.
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Siberian Cannibals – Fishermen Trapped In Sub Zero Temperatures
I wrote a post last month about cannibalism being on the rise. Looks like I was right. For once.
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Ultimate Worst Live Bands Of All Time EVER
Live music is really good when it’s good, but when it’s bad it is REALLY bad. Look I’ll show you…..
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The Best Xmas Fail Videos Ever
’tis the season to be jolly apparently. Sometimes though, we find it hard to be jolly whilst our ears are being raped by Christmas dick heads.
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VIDEO: How Do You Fool A Baboon?
You will probably never have to fool a baboon into showing you where his water is, but it’s nice to know how just in case you are thirsty in the desert one day.
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“Nail Houses” – Giving The Finger To The Man
If the business man wants to smash your house down, but you won’t move, even though everyone else has legged it, then you have a “Nail House”. And you are hard.
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Best And Cheapest Fancy Dress Costumes In The Whole Universe
The Metro said these people were rubbish at fancy dress, I think they are the LORDS of fancy dress. You decide. But I am right either way.
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Extreme Milking – A Response To TimW_Brap
So milking is the new craze apparently. Idiots. These people are dim. But here’s some even weirder milk related videos for you to suckle on.
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Artist Makes Massive Sea Monsters Out Of Stone
So maybe us Chirpsers aren’t so hot on our art, but if you make a massive whale out of stone – I’m interested. Adrián Villar Rojas leads the way from Argentina.
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Cannibalism – On The Rise?
I’ve noticed a glut of cannibal stories in the news recently. Should we be worried? Or should we just chow down? Discuss….
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Arthur C Clarke’s ‘Amazing World’ – Interview Special
Arthur C Clarke was a sci-fi legend, he also loved unexplainable shizzle. Here’s a video of interviews with ‘normal’ people about their paranormal encounters.
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Sumatran Mud Cow Racing
Instead of water skiing off the back of a boat, you mud ski off the back of some bulls. I’m in.
Insomnia By Faithless Featuring Awesome Spoon Playing
The spoons are the most underrated percussive instruments, and that’s for good reason – they’re rubbish. But not the way this dude plays them.
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Indian Clothes Shop Called “Hitler”
It must be tricky deciding on a name for your shop, but there are some names you can scrub off the list straight away. “Dog Shit” is one and “Hitler” is another.
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VIDEO: Slow Motion Booty Shaking
I’m not winding you up, it’s a video featuring close ups of ladies rears as they shake them vigorously. But it’s totes profesh so there’s no guilt involved.
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Sexy People – Everyone Loves A Portrait
Is it mean to laugh at the way people look? No, not if they look hilarious. That’s their fault, not yours.
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