As if there wasn’t enough crap going on in this country already, now it turns out that we’ve gotta watch out for an incoming wave of venomous green fanged vampire spiders.

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The warning comes courtesy of an unnamed 61 year old woman in Bristol who revealed that one of them had recently bit her. She said the following:

They leave a nasty bite, it swells and goes very red. It’s like a bee sting.

I have been unfortunate because I was bitten again about two weeks ago, this time on my forehead.

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Yep sounds like she’s definitely been a bit unfortunate there with this one. The warning appears to be legit as well and not just the words of some senile old woman because the presence of these spiders in this country has been confirmed by leading experts after they found their way into this country from the Mediterranean through various sea ports.

If you come into contact with one basically just try not to get bitten I guess. Pretty annoying that that’s something else we’ve gotta watch out for now, but I guess it’s better to know about them than to just have one rock up out of nowhere and stick one on you. Bastards.

For more of the same, check out this guy’s horrific spider infested apartment. Really is something else that one.