A British Airways pilot has been sacked after boasting to a colleague that he snorted coke off a topless woman just hours before he was due to fly a plane from Johannesburg to London.

Married Mike Beaton, from Devon, was dumb enough to text details of his wild night out to a female stewardess he worked with. He told her he had met two local lads, a ‘Welsh chick’ and ‘young Spanish bird’ at a nightclub in the city, admitting the following:

I’ve been a very naughty boy. We all walk (stagger) back up to the hotel bar for ‘one last one before bed’.

Welsh and one of these guys is getting on very well, but she’s told him that I’m her boyfriend. Couple of drinks in the bar, bit of snogging, and then we’re somehow all on our way to this dude’s flat.

Welsh has decided that I should actually be her boyfriend — Spanish has hooked up with one of the two local lads and is having her t**s sucked on their sofa.

I’ve lost my shirt somewhere and one of the local lads produces a plate with a few lines of coke. So then there’s a debate about whose chest is the best to do a bump off. That’s the story of how I ended up snorting coke off a girl’s t**s in Joburg.

Feeling like a proper lad, I bet. Beaton then admitted the evening had taken its toll, confessing:

Stayed the night with Welsh, sh** her for ages (I guess the coke played a part) and then was so f** I couldn’t even lift my head until gone 2.

I guess Beaton thought this female colleague would be really impressed by the whole thing and think he was really cool, but instead his story had the complete opposite effect and the horrified stewardess did the responsible thing by grassing him up. Sure enough, Beaton was drug-tested by his managers and cocaine showed up in his system. The whole ordeal cost British Airways an estimated £100,000 as they had to delay the flight for 24 hours in order to find a suitable replacement.

What a way to ruin your career (and marriage, I suppose). Makes you wonder how many pilots are out there in the skies right now supercharged on coke or experiencing the comedown from hell? Although I’d probably be more concerned about the latter. Only difference is they aren’t stupid enough to incriminate themselves via text message to a colleague. You live and you learn.

For the pilot who died in a gender reveal party plane crash, click HERE.