CRUNCHY NUT CORNFLAKES

Clearly you’re the kind of person that has truly patrician tastes in all walks of life. All of your friends look up to you and often speculate amongst themselves whether or not you are a divine being sent to earth as a gift to humanity (you pretty much are by the way.) Strangers often stop you in the street just to bask in your glorious presence for a brief moment. Obviously you were the smartest and most popular person in your school and most people who meet you feel compelled to find a partner and have a child as soon as possible just so they can name it after you. You’re doing a great job and you’re an inspiration to the rest of mankind, keep it up!

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So there you go, it’s all out in the open now. It’s probably been pretty difficult to hear all this in such a direct way, but hopefully you’ve managed to realize a lot about yourself and now you can slowly start to rehabilitate and change yourself for the better. You’re welcome for the wake up call.

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