Brazilian Prisoner Too Fat To Escape

Do they not show Prison Break in Brazil or something? As far as I’m concerned if I’ve learnt anything from all the shitty break-out movies I’ve watched it’s that you should probably spend less time eating and more time befriending Morgan Freeman when you’re in the joint.

A Brazilian prisoner took our previous advice regarding feeding yourself up in order to avoid execution to heart but forgot that he’d all ready planned to escape through a little hole in the wall — as he got stuck trying to flee the coop.

His tiny little cellmate made the jump before him and had no trouble but old fatso managed to get stuck in the wall. Reports have come out that fellow prisoners tried to force tubby Tim through but they didn’t have any luck as he was just too fat.

The prison guards in Ceres, Goiania, were said to have been very amused by the poor bald prisoner’s plight and Lieutenant Tiago Costa from the fire brigade did his best to describe the situation:

“He has a very large physique and is also very tall. The other prisoners tried to push him but he stayed stuck in the wall. He started screaming in pain, and that was when the prison guards were alerted.”

So basically if you’re going to try and break out of jail please remember to not just put a feedbag on your face and chow down but spend some time watching Shawshank or Midnight Express or something. Or maybe watch a Wesley Snipes film…he always seems to get away with shit and not go to jail in the first place.

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