Every once in a while you get some quality personal anecdotes on Reddit, and this one detailing a feud between a cheeky Waffle House chef, a stubborn customer and incorrect egg orders has been doing the rounds this week.

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It’s a beautiful tale about two enemies and their determination to fuck up each other’s days as much as possible, brought to our attention by Twitter user @JakeMHS, whose Tweet sharing the screenshots went stupidly viral:

Folks, I cannot describe how important it is that you read this r/relationships post. It’s an absolute Hall of Famer.

My (29F) Boyfriend (29M) keeps getting into fights with a cook at Waffle House pic.twitter.com/w0J2mcsCjT

— This Jake Are Sick (@JakeMHS) May 12, 2020

Read the full story below…

I know this sounds really weird, but here it is: 

My BF and I have been together for three years. We met and started dating when we were both in graduate school, but I dropped out to go back to college to pursue a different career. We are both finished now, and live together making a fairly nice combined income. 

Our income is relevant because we could afford to eat somewhere nice when we’re out and about, but he always wants breakfast food. When he was a child his dad couldn’t stand eating breakfast-type food in the afternoon or evenings, so his mom would make him waffles/pancakes, eggs, and bacon in the evening whenever his dad was busy or out of town. it’s a wonderful and safe memory for him, and when he goes to his “happy place,” he says that’s where he always goes. 

My BF is an incredibly nice and caring person. He’s emotionally tuned in to everyone and recognizes arising issues a long time before they occur. He loves animals, and is kind and gentle with every bug, bird, and pet that he comes across. He’s almost always willing to turn the other cheek in social situations where somebody tries to insult him or get aggressive towards him, and usually winds up defusing the situation and having a productive discussion about whatever the issue was. Except at Waffle House. 

Anytime we’re out he wants to go to the same goddamn Waffle House and get breakfast food. I’m not a big eater, so I used to not really care. I would just drink coffee and read my book while he enjoyed his food. But that became impossible once he and this one cook started chirping at each other every time we went there. BF complained about his eggs one time, because he likes them a little runny and they were served hard. The cook responded by giving him scrambled eggs. When he brought it up again the cook served him two hardboiled eggs. I think it was just part of the cook’s schtick, and it was kind of funny tbh, but my BF wasn’t able to laugh it off. When we left he was in kind of a bad mood, but we didn’t really talk about it. 

The next week we were out getting some shopping done, and he wanted to go to Waffle House again. I suggested that we try out a different place, or at least a different Waffle House location, but he only wanted the same Waffle House. We went in and sat down, and once again the same cook served his eggs wrong. My BF sort of snapped at him that he wasn’t interested in messing around, and wanted the correct eggs. The cook then served him a piece of toast with a hole cut out in the middle with a fried egg in it. My BF got really mad and threw the egg toast at the cook, which made the cook come around from behind the bar and throw it back at him. They ended up sort of wrestling/fighting until my BF was like “this is bullshit” and walked out. Nobody got hurt, but the few other people in there were watching and laughing a bit. 

This is the crazy part: my BF keeps going back and ordering eggs and getting into fistfights with the same cook. It’s almost a ritual at this point. my BF orders runny eggs, the cook serves hims ome other version of eggs, adn then they beat the shit out of each other,. I quit going with him after the second fight, but he kept going by himself. They’re like Peter and the giant chicken from Family Guy, it’s the weirdest thing. They’ve physically fought 6 or 7 times over this. 

I’ve tried to talk to him about it a few times, but he keeps saying it’s a matter of principle. I’ve told him to talk to the manager or something like that, but he just waves me off. Apparently that cook hasn’t made him the correct runny eggs, but it’s like he spends the week learning new ways of preparing eggs to piss my BF off.

The thing is, we’re getting married this summer. He’s accepted a job in a new city and it’ll be easy for me to find work after the wedding, so we’ll be moving away from his sworn enemy waffle house guy. He hasn’t really been out since quarantine started, but it wouldn’t surprise me if that’s the first place he goes when restaurants open back up for sitting customers. But my main worry is this strange vindictive side of him I’ve never seen before that leads him to fight the same guy every week. The violence itself is an issue for me, but the obsession over it almost bothers me more. 

Should I be worried that this side of him will come up later in our marriage? How do I get him to open up about this? Is this type of obsession a choice, or is it indicative of something deeper? 

That genuinely might be one of the best things I’ve ever read on the internet. Can just imagine the chef in his secret lab right now cooking up more ways to make this guy’s eggs wrong. OK there’s a chance the author made the whole thing up for lolz and opinion on that seems to be split 50/50, but I’m gonna choose to believe it’s real because a world where this story is a reality is a world that I want to live in.

As for the boyfriend, I’m pretty sure he just really loves Waffle House and made up that whole story about his mum and dad to convince his girlfriend to let him go there all the time. Unfortunately for him he came across a chef who literally gives zero fucks about making his eggs properly and in the process made himself an arch nemesis for life.

Big up the girlfriend though, who despite knowing a fight is going to break out every time, is still happy to accompany her boyfriend to that same Waffle House whenever he wants to go. Sometimes you’ve just go to let people fight for what they believe in, and it sounds like her boyfriend isn’t going to rest until he convinces this chef to make his eggs exactly the way he wants them. Respect.

For the woman dishing out brutally honest dick pic ratings on Reddit, click HERE.