BIN LADEN – A BULLET IN THE HEAD BUT IS HE REALLY DEAD?

BIN LADEN WAS ARRESTED SOMEWHERE ELSE AND PLANTED IN ABBOTTABAD – Another gem from the residents of Abbottabad, some of which claim that bin Laden was arrested somewhere else and then placed in Abbottabad so that the US government could carry out drone strikes against the town. Again, why would they want to do this? Continuing this elaborate theory, apparently the Pakistani government arrested him somewhere else, but when the US caught wind of this (again, another mammoth leap of logic that they would just be able to figure this out, although it could have taken anything up to ten years for them to figure this out so maybe it is believable) the Pakistani army arranged an artificial operation to cover it up and make a martyr of him. This part of the theory makes a little bit more sense as it would make sense why the body hadn’t been released and was quickly disposed of – if it even existed in Abbottabad at all.

OSAMA BIN LADEN IS BARACK OBAMA – The basis for this is that there’s only one letter difference in one part of each of their names and now that Osama is dead they will never be seen together. Sounds like a legitimate, well thought out theory. Like most of these.

So yeah, quite an extensive list huh and it’s been less than 72 hours since the shit hit the fan. Imagine how many conspiracy theories there will be in fifty years time when he’ll have been as dead as long as JFK? However, none of these theories even touched on the biggest question that was on my lips: ‘did our good friend Sarge have anything to do with this?’ I tweeted him asking him what he thought and he replied ‘in a way, yes. I definitely have a story to tell. Right now, letting the dust settle.’ I then hit him up about doing an interview and he seemed keen, so look for the REAL story to be broken in the next few days. Until then, keep bugging the White House to release the photos.