THE ANNOUNCEMENT OF BIN LADEN’S DEATH IS A CONSPIRACY TO GET OBAMA RE-ELECTED – This actually makes a lot of sense – the story goes bin Laden was found/killed years ago, yet America still wanted to fvck around searching for oil in the countries they had invaded so didn’t announce it and saved it for a rainy day, such as now when’s there’s controversy over Obama’s birth, his popularity is waning and the economy is in turmoil. There are a few holes in that though, like, you think they might have planned it a bit better if this was really the case, for example with a picture of a FUCKING BODY to start with? I mean, even if he did die in 2001 you think they might have cryongenically frozen the body for this occasion, or taken a photograph of it back then, or at least come up with a half assed ploy to make it look real, considering it had been 10/X amount of years in making. Regardless of this it seems like a dead cert that Obama will get re-elected right now – I mean, have you ever Americans look so happy except maybe during the Superbowl half time show – so look for this theory to stick around for a while, probably even after pictures of the body emerge.

BIN LADEN’S DEATH WAS TIMED TO INTERRUPT CELEBRITY APPRENTICE – Donald Trump presents the Celebrity Apprentice over in the states, so this is probably true. I mean Obama could have announced it at any time, why not wait a few minutes/hours to announce it to piss off the guy who’s been giving you shit over where you were born for the past few weeks? This isn’t even a conspiracy theory in my eyes, it’s a dead cert. It doesn’t really have that much to do with the actual death of bin Laden though, as I don’t think the U.S. government would fake it just to cut into Trump’s ratings. A factor in the timing of the announcement though, sure.