Dove Told Women They Were Beautiful, The Internet Tells Men Their Balls Are Beautiful

Your balls are more beautiful than you think.

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Whether or not you intended to I’m sure that by now most of you have seen Dove’s ‘Real Beauty sketches’, a phenomenally successful piece of advertising which is ostensibly aimed at increasing women’s self esteem. But, let’s face it, Dove is just trying to get womankind wet at the thought of a corporation using something other than skeletal clotheshorses with bags of poison where their tits should be as marketing tools.

In the ad, a former forensic artist draws various women in a terribly under furnished warehouse, first based on their own descriptions of themselves, then using the descriptions other women give of them. Ever so fortunately, the latter drawings turn out to be far more flattering than the former and women the world over realise they’re not quite as fugly as they initially thought.

See the results here:

[yframe url=’http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XpaOjMXyJGk’]

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Anyway, the obvious major shortcoming of the ad is that it is aimed exclusively at women. Now the insecurities of womankind have vanished. Gone are their fears of cellulite, their loathing of double chins, their dismay at crow’s feet, to be replaced by a universal embrace of their bodies and sheer adoration for their faces. Bravo, Dove, bravo.

But what will become of men’s creeping hairlines, their protruding bellies so painstakingly cultivated over a lifetime of consumption? When will men’s insecurities about their body parts be cast to the confines of history?? THINK ABOUT THE MEN!!!!

Above all, how do we help men love the hanging sack of hairy squelching sweaty goodness that hangs between their legs like the pendulum of a battered but proud grandfather clock.

As we learn from the video, too many of our noble men are insecure about their manjigglies, describing them as “stinky” or, my personal favourite “like a frog that died and has been baking in the sun for 2 or 3 days”.

Thankfully some thoughtful souls on the interweb have taken it upon themselves to fill the man-shaped void left by the Dove crew, and have created their very own Real Beauty Sketches to help men fall back in love with their nutsacks.

You’re welcome:

[yframe url=’http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qzDUbUQ-qjg’]