You probably saw yesterday that B.o.B. came out with the outlandish claim that the world was flat and then got completely shut down by Neil DeGrasse Tyson about it.

Well, B.o.B. has responded to this in exactly the way you would expect any rapper who got dissed to respond – he dropped a diss track at midnight last night. It’s called ‘Flatline’ (seriously) and features a couple of verses of B.o.B. rapping about how the Earth is flat, and then a wildly out of context clip of DeGrasse Tyson talking.

Nothing I can say can really do this justice, so you might as well just crack it on and enjoy:

Featured Image VIA

And now the lyrics, because it’s almost even better when you read them written down:

Verse 1

Yo, you ain’t seen my best
Checkmate, ain’t a game of chess
Globalists see me as a threat
Free thinking, got the world at my neck
Hah, am I paranoid? Picture Malcolm X
In a room full of pigs, trying not to bust a sweat
Aye, Neil Tyson need to loosen up his vest
They’ll probably write that man one hell of a check
Aye, I’m over here on this side of town
Come on over, over, over, over here try to clown
Aye, I never pipe down
If they weren’t coming for me then
They definitively coming for me now
I can’t even keep my phone charged up
All this shit I’m talking, I should get my
Rappers get off of my dick, get your own bars up
Now the mirror lizard’s breath got the clones scared cuz
Woo, use your, use your common sense
Why is NASA department of defense?
They divided up the seas into thirty-three degrees
Feeding kids masonry, bruh, be careful what you read

Hook 1

Flat line, flat line
There’s no superior blood line
Flat line, flat line
You got me once but that died, aye

Verse 2

Voice, voice, do I have a voice?
Do I give a fuck? Do I have a choice?
Joint, joint, I roll up a joint
Keep my shooters in the game like I hate to disappoint
I see only good things on the horizon
That’s probably why the horizon is always rising
Indoctrinated in a cult called science
And graduated to a club full of liars
Heliocentrism, you were the sixth victim
Fuck you and your team, you could sit on the bench with ‘em
But before you try to curve it, do your research on David Irving
Stalin was way worse than Hitler
That’s why the POTUS gotta wear a Kipper
I’m a man first ‘fore an artist
Get a lawyer, look up Doctor Richard Sardow

Hook 2

Flat line, flat line
You fooled us for the last time
Flat line, flat line
There’s no superior blood line

Interlude: Neil Tyson

So you want to find farthest point from that center. And it turns out sea level from the equator is farther away from the center of the Earth than sea level at the poles. It has nothing to do with global warming and melting of the ice caps

Because we…Earth we know it spins, once uh…a day. Yes thank you. Three people know, uh, how long a day lasts here

So you, you know when you spin pizza dough it kind of flattens out. It gets wider in the middle…so Earth throughout it’s life, Earth, even when it formed, it was spinning. And it got a little wider at the equator that it does at the poles. So it’s not actually a sphere, it’s oblate, it’s officially an oblate spheroid

But not only that, it’s slightly wider below the equator than above the equator

Little chubbier, chubby’s a good word, it’s like pear-shaped. It turns out the pear-shapedness is a bigger than the height of mount Everest above sea level

Hook 2

Flat line, flat line
You fooled us for the last time
Flat line, flat line
There’s no superior blood line
Dead

Wow I mean, the song literally sounds like B.o.B. got stoned, made the dumbest beat he could find and then rapped the first thing that came into his head. I mean there are about six conspiracy theories in there, not just things about the Earth being flat. I think B.o.B. probably has smoked too much weed you know.

Highlights include: ‘globalists see me as a threat’ (do they?), ‘joint, joint I roll up a joint (lol you don’t say?), ‘Get a lawyer look up Dr. Richard Sarnow (who?) and (my favourite) ‘why is NASA department of defense?’ (is it?).

I don’t really know what to make of it all, I mean the whole affair has got people talking about B.o.B. again which I don’t think anyone has done for about five years, but even though there’s no such thing as bad publicity I really don’t think this is the kind of publicity B.o.B. should be going after. Still, even if the globalists do get him at least we will have got this one last great track from him. And I thank him for that, if not his opinions on the flatness of the Earth.

I mean not even Medieval Europeans thought that the Earth was flat – check out that and 16 other ‘facts’ that history has got completely wrong.