I’ve got a couple of bona fide fashion shots for you next. If you’re wondering what to do for your next ‘look’, can I recommend copying Lisa’s snazzy cut. She calls it the walnut whip because it’s spiral in shape and nuts in nature. It costs her £800 to have it prepared fresh each morning before coming into school. The kids take the micky, but Lisa don’t care, she understands that her hair is the cross she has to bear. No one ever said it would be easy being a trend setting visionary. So she keeps quiet and takes one for the team.

Stephan, below, is married to Lisa despite only being 14. As soon as they clapped eyes on each other it was instant love. They spend as much time together as possible but are both aware that having two haircuts with such charisma in the same room at the same time could potentially cause some kind of rip in the space/time continuum. So they mostly see each other at the weekends and at least one of them will normally wear a hat to be on the safe side.

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