We’ve featured quite a lot of tattoos here at Sick Chirpse. We like ’em and we’ve got a few resting in our pores but you’ll probably never see our tattoos because we’re like surveillance ninjas and only ever go out when you’re not around or sleeping. Unless you’re at a Sick Chirpse party, that is, because anything can happen in those and if you ask really nicely (and by that I mean buying us a pint or giving us your number if you’re a fit girl), we’ll show you with no extra charge.
The tattoos we’ve featured have mainly been shitty, ugly and absurd tattoos that make us wretch and cry into our stash box and I do apologise a bit for showing you all this mother of an atrocity but this tattoo really is the most ridiculous out of the lot and you’d better move your stash box to the other end of the room because this one will punish your tear-ducts dry.
☛ Worst Tattooist In The World: Synyster Ink – The Worst Tattooist On The Planet
If you’re a tattoo virgin, then ignore those wannabe hardmen/women that say ‘tattoos don’t hurt’ because tattoos do actually hurt. It’s really stupid when people ask if getting tattoos hurt because it makes them sound kinda thick – how can a needle being dragged through your skin be painless? It’s like asking a woman if giving birth to quintuplets was a walk in the park. Have a bitta common.
Okay, they’re not as bad as having your vagina stretched and ripped by a newborn baby peeping through but they’re uncomfortable and if you’re getting your first one, just don’t look at the needle eating away at your skin unless you’re an occult fanboy. Although I suppose that’s the point right? Nothing worth having comes easy, just like those smug-nosed executives say, so get down to your local tattooist and plant one right on your bulb-head, like good ol’ sane Mike Tyson.
☛ More Pain: Woman Gets Tattooed – Claims It Feels Awesome
As I just said, tattoos hurt so this really does make you kinda think what the hell is wrong with this guy and PETA fanatics are already probably hunting him down with their wooden sticks (no animal products used). His name is Ernesto Rodriguez and he recently tattooed his dog’s stomach. In case you’re wondering, his dog’s called Duchess and she’s a 5 month old American Pitbull. Here’s a picture of Ernesto with Duchess, tattoo included.
Apparently, Ernesto took Duchess to the tattoo parlour he owns where he proceeded to tattoo the dog’s name and an emblem which represents her bloodline, on her stomach. He then, of course, because nothing in this day and age exists without Facebook knowing about it, posted a picture of the doodle – because you can’t call it much else – on Facebook where it caused a bit of spilt milk between himself and animal lovers all over the world. Ernesto defended himself by saying the tattoo was ‘no different to horses and cows being branded’ and that ‘You’re not abusing them. You’re just protecting them so they don’t get lost’. Um, ever heard of microchipping?
☛ You Like Animals?: The Best Animal Gifs To Watch When You’re High
Rodriguez claimed the dog was asleep when he tattooed her. She obviously wasn’t naturally asleep unless she suffers from some weird deep sleep syndrome so it makes it a bit more worse knowing that Rodriguez forced the dog to sleep with chemicals. It’s a good thing she was asleep, though, because if she wasn’t she’d have probably mauled Rodriguez to death because her stomach would be really tender and thin-skinned and would have really hurt her. We all know American Pitbulls are one of the hardest dog-breeds out there so it’s no wonder Rodriguez forced her to sleep, the crazy bastard. Rodriguez is also an army veteran so if there are any PTSD psychiatrists out there, then perhaps you should give Mr. Ernesto Rodriguez a call. This is really pretty weird and he needs some sorta help before PETA find him and beat him to death with their leaves.
☛ PETA Hardmen: PETA Wages War On Pokemon For Virtual Animal Cruelty
I mean, he’s even spelt the dog’s name wrong for Christ’s sake. Poor bitch.
