The Phone Guy
He calls in-store a few times a month asking us questions about the product range, wanting our own testimonials on what things feel like. We think he jerks off during these conversations because his breathing speeds up when you say any ‘naughty’ words. Each time he calls in with a different and more elaborate alias. One week he’s a regular guy looking to spice up his marriage and the next he’s a housebound agoraphobic dude who can’t make it into the store. We make bets on what he’s going to call in as next…
