6) Geographical Representations

American regions are just more glamorous. Sure, these places almost definitely have their shitty areas, but we don’t know that, and we definitely can’t picture it as easily as we can a Hull council estate. In our ignorance, we can romanticise the places that these teams represent: grand, rich, noble lands: Seattle, Denver, Washington. Now compare that to Wigan, Sunderland and Stoke- out and out shit holes from any angle you would like to try look at them: place, food, accent.

Some would argue that I am just picking the least glamorous of the British teams, what about those from desirable and affluent areas: Chelsea and Fulham. Firstly, Fulham is a team supported mostly by women and other characters with no real interest in Soccer. There seems to be a permanent ‘spare season ticket’ floating around most friendship groups. Unfortunately, Chelsea football team is party to some of the most detestable characters of British society. A recent survey showed that of most Brits with a tear drop tattoo on their face actually supported Chelsea. Also, anyone that calls themselves a Headhunter and isn’t in recruitment is probably not the sort of person we want to meet.

☛ Up Next: The Word’s Most/Least Corrupt Countries