5. CHRISTIAN BALE IS BATMAN

Well, he is not actually Batman, but he gives it a good go. For years to come he will be remembered as the greatest Batman to grace our screens. Even Adam West seems shit compared to Bale, owing to the depth and actual characterisation brought to the role. Yes shark repellent spray and cheesy one-liners are brilliant in their own right, but as a comic book character that has been enriched over the years Christian Bale is the first actor to be taken seriously.

I do wonder whether Ben Affleck’s acting prestige is on the line. One thing I do know, however, is that come release day I’ll be in the centre of the cinema, fedora-tipped, utility belt on, distressed Batman shirt unironed and ready to scoff at the pathetic display before me. I can’t wait.

☛ For Further Batman Based Fury: Ben Affleck Is The New Batman And The Internet Completely Loses Its Shit