China, of course still has the death penalty and it’s only recently that the list of crimes that could get you killed has been shortened. A few years ago, if you’d forged a VAT invoice, robbed a cultural ruin or smuggled a rare animal you’d have found yourself hanging by your neck. Although it’s good to see them slowly (very slowly) phase out the death penalty, you may be better off dying then spending life in one of their filthy institutions.

The general conditions in Chinese prisons vary greatly. In some establishments there may be just two people per cell, but in the majority there are so many prisoners per room that it’s impossible to all lie down at the same time. There’s no beds or furniture, you have to sleep on a raised stone platform in the middle of the room and the lights are left on 24/7. In the summer it’s boiling and in the winter it’s freezing. Often there’s no water, and if there is water it’s dirty and contaminated. On top of the already vicious overcrowding there’s more uninvited guests at the party – lice, mosquitoes and my old friend scabies.

Hunger, thirst and sleep deprivation are basically ongoing. That’s all pretty depressing, and when you add to that the fact that many people are locked there indefinately or for no real crime, it just keeps getting worse.

So, as I said at the start of this ramble, I was initially looking into torture when I found all these deets so I’ll run through a few of their standard methods for you now. I promise you that after reading this you will make sure you behave yourself in China.

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