Ark Music Factory’s Thanksgiving Song Is The Epitome Of Irony

Yesterday it was Thanksgiving in America. Thanksgiving is a strange festival and one that many people outside of America don’t know much about. I had a good idea of what it was about, but until 5 minutes ago I didn’t actually know for sure. This was partly because I wasn’t interested, and partly because I group Thanksgiving in with one of those things that Americans do that helps them forget that the rest of the world exists. I don’t know why – maybe it’s completely down to unjustified prejudice – but I just get this feeling that as Americans are sitting around the table, carving their Turkey and saying grace, that in the back of their minds they’re bumming themselves for being better than everyone else, because they have a national holiday dedicated to being thankful and loving each other. Maybe I just like to paint a picture in my head of Americans being really smug and patriotic and waving their flags and thinking they’re the fuckin’ dog’s bollocks, but it’s fun to hate them, so I’m gonna carry on doing that.

Well for the sake of this article I just looked it up and it appears the main reason behind Thanksgiving is that when the pilgrims (I don’t know why Americans give ‘pilgirms’ a capital ‘P’, it’s not a proper noun guys) came to America, the Native Americans taught them how to live there and basically stopped them from immediately dying and so to celebrate their first successful harvest, they created a national holiday to give thanks to God and the Native Americans (but mostly God) for this food. Over time, the holiday took on extra meanings like being thankful to God for everything from the money that they worked hard to earn to the fact that they haven’t died yet, and forgiving people for things and just generally being nice people for a day, which helped them forget all about the Native Americans that they killed and stole from.

Now skip forward to the 21st Century, and Ark Music Factory. AMF are the guys responsible for Rebecca Black’s Friday and all those computer generated songs on YouTube featuring 12-year-olds, bright colours and autotune and not featuring a like/dislike bar or a comments section. Patrice Wilson is the guy that runs AMF and writes and produces the tracks but my beef isn’t really with him. I’m annoyed with him for being responsible for all these autotuned children on the internet, but he saw a niche market and he exploited it and he’s probably wiping his arse with $5o bills as we speak, so fair play really. I think he’s a bit of a creepy paedo and his idea of good music is pretty warped – both expressed by his need to appear in every video that he makes (he was the weird rapper in the car in the Friday video), but it’s not like he’s destroying the music industry or anything, because no one above the age or IQ of 12 takes the music seriously.

My beef is with mommy and daddy who pay $4000 to Mr Wilson because little miss princess wanted to be a pop star. American middle-class suburbia has created these vile little monsters that have absolutely no concept of life or work or financial discomfort, let alone poverty, war or opression. I’m not saying they should be reading Mein Kampf, but I doubt they even know what Europe is.

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So it all gets very ironic when AMF comes full circle and writes a Thanksgiving song for Nicole Westbrook.

Thanksgiving is supposed to give comfortable Americans perspective, to remind them that they didn’t always have it this easy and they should be thankful (mostly to God, of course) that they’re even here now. And Nicole Westbrook is a 12-year-old that was born into a 4-storey-house on a gated estate in California with a daddy that works in a big office and earns lots of money and a mommy that drives her everywhere in a Range Rover and buys her everything she asks for so she can be the popular girl at school and have her own clique and be a total bitch with no social awareness or care for anyone but herself and who’ll probably never have to work a day in her life because Daddy will be able to pay for her new shoes and handbags until she finds a husband’s credit card to replace Daddy’s credit card and then when she has kids she’ll be able to hire a nanny and a cleaner and a dog walker and she will literally never have to worry about anything ever.

The kids that AMF unleashes onto the internet should be more thankful for the situation they’ve been born into than anyone in the history of the human race, but they are completely oblivious to it. This video shows just how little Nicole Westbrook understands about the point of Thanksgiving, the importance of being grateful for the cards she’s been dealt or the ability to care about anyone but herself.

Thanksgiving is the subject of her 15 minutes of fame, and yet she has absolutely no idea how lucky she is.

Isn’t that pretty much the epitome of irony?

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