Unless you’ve been living under an internet rock, you’ve probably heard about Bryan Johnson – the 45-year-old millionaire who’s on a mission to reverse his biological clock and become 18 again.
He’s spending $2 million a year on a program he calls Project Blueprint and so far, he’s had decent results. Apparently, 45-year-old Johnson has the heart of a 37-year-old, the skin of a 28-year-old, and the lung capacity of a teenager. But now he’s at arguably the most crucial stage of the process – acquiring the penis of a… much younger man.
In a new update, Johnson revealed he’s undergoing ‘shockwave therapy’ on his tackle, Tweeting the following:
Started first penis rejuvenation therapy:
Focused shockwave therapy 6 treatments, 3x/wk Cost $1-2k.
Evidence: multiple randomised controlled trials showed that shockwave therapy improves erectile dysfunction.
We are testing whether it improves total time nighttime erections, subjective sexual performance, sexual satisfaction, and medical imaging-based penile markers.
In a previous post, Johnson shared his ‘baseline measurements’ alongside the ‘goals’ of his penis rejuvenation plan, which included a target of achieving three hours and 30 minutes’ worth of nighttime erections.
Aside from that, Johnson’s routine to ‘grow younger’ includes an hour of exercise a day (with more high-intensity training three times per week), a vegan diet of exactly 1,977 calories, sleeping at the exact same time every night, and undergoing all kinds of medical procedures, including extracting and injecting plasma from his 17-year-old son Talmage.
Who knows, Bryan Johnson terrifying mid-life crisis could result in a massive breakthrough for medicine and reverse-ageing, but it’s still pretty mental that he’s spending $2m a year and putting himself through this exhausting routine that also includes taking 80 vitamins and mineral supplements a day, while allowing himself zero vices and having blood tests, MRIs and colonoscopies every other week.
If all goes to plan though, he’ll live forever (presumably), so who’ll be laughing then? If he dies like the rest of us though, that’s a giant L on his record from which he will literally never recover. Imagine if he dies in a freak car accident or something? All that hard work and reverse-ageing would have been for nothing. Oh well, good luck to the guy.
Johnson also recently dumped his fiancée because her breast cancer was a ‘net negative’ on his future plans. What a guy.
