Bad news for all the influencers and Instagram babes/hunks in Ibiza right now – Playa Pinet beach has officially shut down after tests of the cove’s water showed levels of fecal matter that “exceeded” safety limits. Gross!

As per the NY Post, the local city council closed down the tourist beach over fears the contaminated water could lead to cases of E. coli and intestinal enterococcus bacteria infection in beachgoers on the Spanish party island.

Who even knows how many people got a mouth full of poop before the high levels of fecal matter on Playa Pinet were discovered? Such a bummer for the influencer types who spent all that money to travel to Ibiza and trick the rest of us into thinking they’ve got the best lifestyles in the world. Yeah OK they might be flying on private planes and travelling to exotic locations this summer, but at least the rest of us aren’t swimming in literal human poop. When you think of it that way, my life as a bloke who blogs in his pants is way better than the life of an Instagram influencer. Take that, losers!

For now, Playa Pinet beach remains closed pending further tests. All anyone can do is wait patiently for the poo levels in the water to go down. Just think about that next time you’re feeling envious of the rich and famous and beautiful people who spend their lives partying on exotic islands.

Also in Ibiza this week – climate change activists vandalised a $300M superyacht. Reckon the owner even noticed?