The best way to clear your conscience before the weekend is to admit what you did via our anonymous Sick Chirpse confessions box – every week we’ll be posting our favourite ones.
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permabake
I am a reclusive stoner and I don’t want lockdown to end. It’s honestly been a piece of piss for me. Hardly any difference to my pre lockdown world except I feel less bad about smoking weed and playing Xbox all day.
daniel203
My fiancee is a secondary school teacher, and I’d be lying if I said al these stories you guys have been posting about teachers shagging their students doesn’t have me a bit worried. There’s one lad in particular she complains about frequently, but in that way that she might fancy him. FML.
twointhestink
I stopped a girl from sticking a finger in my bum years ago and now I’m beginning to regret it
Lil Miss Stretchy
My biggest accomplishment last lock down was being able to fist myself. Fuck knows what I’m going to do this time
farty mc fartface
When i was in primary school I farted really loud (thanks to the hard floor we where sitting on) whilst we where all getting told off because we (all the boys in my year) kept farting during a talk a guest speaker at the school was giving. I was literally so embarrassed at the time but now Im older I know it was the ultimate power move.
yumsniff
I based my uni decision on which girls looked the fittest in the prospectuses
kamikaze D
I honestly think I would be more successful in life if I supported a better team. Sometimes I get angry my family didn’t move to Manchester or London so I might support United or Chelsea or someone instead of Exeter City. Life might have turned out better if I at least had things to celebrate on the weekend.
FrankSpencer
Was checking my balls for cancer and it turned into a wank
rich tom soon
My dad thinks i’m some countdown savant whizkid because i sneakily use an anorgram solver online every time its on . guy put my name forward to go on the show….
blakaboom
I once went out with a girl who’s dad was her gynaecologist. She didn’t think it was weird at all.
playfrixna
I send story tips to Sick Chirpse all the time and they never get blogged…
Shudopip
I had a wank in the Vatican when I was 18. Don’t know why, but it’s done now. God forgive me.
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Leave your confession(s) for next week in our submission box HERE.
See you next Friday!