It’s fair to say that the lockdown has led to some weird behaviour from some of us, but I’m not sure if any of it can match what this dude from down under was doing after he was arrested for masturbating in a graveyard using an electric toothbrush.

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67 year old Raymond James Stratford was seen naked on a number of occasions in Stirling District Cemetery, near Adelaide in Australia. Onlookers said that he was masturbating on each sighting and one said that he was even performing a sex act with an electric toothbrush one time.

(I presume that means he was sticking it up his ass and turning it on in order to get off which is something I don’t really think I’ve ever considered before. In theory it would probably work though I think?)

Incredibly, Stratford’s solicitor Sarah Bamford tried to defend his actions with the following excuse:

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He doesn’t live that far from the cemetery and it was out in the open.

That was what was going through his head at the time. It was purely being out in the wilderness.

There is shrubbery and woods in that cemetery, and that is my instructions on why he went there.

My client is awaiting an appointment with a psychologist and may have compulsive sexual behaviour.

Lol surely the last sentence of that is what you should be focussing on and not the rest of it? I mean just because something is near your house doesn’t mean that you should head out there naked and masturbate all over it? Literally everyone else in the world knows that that isn’t normal or acceptable behaviour. Really weird that she would try and defend him like that.

Unsurprisingly, magistrate Lynette Duncan said that Stratford’s behaviour showed complete disrespect for the cemetery and sentenced him to two months behind bars, suspended on a £275 18 month good behaviour bond. Stratford said he was sorry and it wouldn’t happen again, and also promised to attend rehabilitation programmes and counselling.

Hopefully that will sort him out, but given the fact that he’s 67 you’ve gotta worry about all the other freaky stuff that he might have got up to during his life. Surely this weird compulsion didn’t just manifest itself in his 67th year? Kinda scary to be honest.

For more of the same, check out this woman who was spotted topless dancing in a graveyard. Kinky.