The best way to clear your conscience before the weekend is to admit what you did via our anonymous Sick Chirpse confessions box – every week we’ll be posting our favourite ones.

—

jdimz

I’ve been wearing the same boxers for 4 days in a row

ggthorpe

I get really pissed off when I let someone merge ahead of me in traffic and they don’t give me any acknowledgment

0747675

I’ve cum inside so many random girls over the years without getting a single one of them pregnant that I’m 90% sure I’m sterile

stressederic

I was so engrossed in a game of FIFA online that ended with me winning 5-4 in injury time that I felt an anxiety attack coming on when it ended.

koonta

I’m shit at everything

Anon99

I matched with a bigger girl on Tinder who I’m meeting this weekend and I’ve been preparing myself by watching only BBW porn

derby23

I’ve been unemployed for about 6 weeks now. The amount of times I’ve wanked off in that time is ridiculous

Johnny Hash

I dated this girl for a number of years, so naturally every once in a while things would get a little stale in the bedroom. Never one for planning, I’d usually decide what bizarre shit I was gonna try on her in the moment – if it feels right, fuck it, right? Well, one particular afternoon I’m hitting her from the back with my thumb up her ass, bowling ball style. Feeling the urge for some anal I went to put my dick in, but came up dry, we’d been smoking heavily and the cottonmouth was murder so I was unable to produce any spit even though she was totally game. I frantically looked around for lube, not wanting to spoil the moment, but there was nothing. Just a single solitary can of green tea on the night stand. Fuck it, I thought to myself. I pulled up a mouthful of tea, spit it in her ass & went to town anyways. After 5 minutes it was so sticky she forced me to stop.

—–

Leave your confession(s) for next week in our submission box HERE.

See you next Friday!