It’s bad enough that kids leave school without basic literacy and numeracy skills, but even worse that no one catches up with them before they enter the professional world. Being in a managerial role convinces even the stupidest people of their own infinite and infallible wisdom – I know, I’ve seen it. Amusing for an enlightened workforce, but outsiders tend to see it for what it is – Disneyland without the fun.

There are some jobs where spelling does matter. Teaching. Writing. Whoever loads the words on the autocue. Most professions demand a confident grasp of spelling, grammar and syntax. But there’s an unlikely place that you would still hope to see a GCSE English certificate framed and glinting proudly on the wall, alongside a certificate of cleanliness. Where is this? Your tattoo artist, of course. Your skin isn’t a document you can re-print later, as these poor sods won’t ever forget. Behold – nature’s walking, talking typos.

Perhaps you were awesome, but you’re not anymore. You’re awsome. And that isn’t the same.

Take that, Systsem. The joke’s on you!

Apparently your tattoo artist doesn’t know, either.

He thought this would be so cool – but he was robbed.

And the millions of people who see this long before then will too, mate.

Apart from this one.

I’m beginning to think the tattoo artists are having a joke with people who claim to regret nothing. Irony at its finest.

Ok, they’re definitely doing this on purpose…

Don’t believe me? Even celebrities aren’t safe – this is Hayden Panettiere, and her tattoo reads ‘Vivere senza rimipiante’. This translates into Italian as – you’ve guessed it – live without regrets, (and with misspellings).

Hayden’s ribs should read ‘Vivere senza rimpiante’. The ironic plot thickens.

If you’re planning to get yourself scrolled in ink, check all spellings before you go! Then, ask to see the artist’s transfer BEFORE it goes on your skin, because it isn’t coming off – EVER!