Growing up in a consumer culture can be pretty weird. The treats and snacks that you grow up with often rebrand and change, leaving you feeling like a part of your childhood has been destroyed. Creme eggs tend to look a lot smaller than when we were kids, but is this because we grew larger or are they genuinely that little bit tinier? And don’t even get me started on the Toblerone fiasco of 2016.

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All my life I reckoned each Mr Kipling‘s French Fancy had a different flavour; with yellow being lemon, brown for chocolate and pink having some sort of soft rose flavouring. After having a year long debate with my boyfriend, who claims that every French Fancy tastes the same, I decided to email the company directly to find out what the sitch was. This was their reply:

Hi Hatti,

Thank you for your email, it’s great to hear how much you enjoy our Mr Kipling French Fancies.

I can confirm that the brown are chocolate flavoured and the yellow are lemon flavoured but the pink are plain.

So that’s two out of three to you so I would say you’ve won.

Kind regards,
Siân Davison
Consumer Relations Advisor

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So there we have it. Out of the original French Fancies packet, the brown cakes are chocolate flavoured, the yellow are lemon flavoured but the pink have no flavour at all. Obviously my taste buds were getting way ahead of themselves for the pinks. They haven’t all suddenly changed to be the same flavour at all, despite the back of  the packet not outwardly stating the flavour of the yellow cakes.

No word as to whether the cream is semen tasting, like these questionable cupcakes a girl made to stitch up her bullies. I mean, they’re definitely not, I just couldn’t think of a better to end the article because I’m a turd. Please don’t sue me Mr Kipling, love you Siân!