Over here at Sick Chirpse we love the strange, gross and downright terrifying. That’s why we do our best to find you the weirdest shit lurking around on the internet like the disturbing world of GG Allin or the eight youngest and most twisted murderers in world history.

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There’s something dark and twisted that lurks within us and we know it’s in you too. That’s why we’re all here reading this post right?

Most would agree that a picture speaks a thousand words and all that, which is why when I decided to put something together on audio files I didn’t really have very high expectations. However, much to my sadistic delight it turns out there’s something about these spontaneous recordings that makes them even more unsettling than a first date with Ted Bundy.

With some of these, the terror comes from the raw panic of the victims as they know that death is approaching; with others your imagination will do the work for you. So if being creeped out gives you a hard on then check out the audio files below (although maybe don’t listen before you go to bed – especially if you’ve just eaten a cheese sandwich):

The Toy-Box Killer

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David Parker Ray, also known as the ‘Toy-Box Killer’, was a suspected serial killer in the US, although he was better known for capturing women and holding them in as his sex slaves. The reason behind his name is that he used to entrap women in his ‘toy box’ – a soundproofed mobile home armed with whips, chains, straps, clamps, pulleys, led spreader bars, surgical blades and saws. Absolutely grim.

Upon conviction, police found no bodies around his torture site, although he was accused and suspected of killing up to 60 people. Now you would think that the absolute worst outcome of being captured by a guy like this would be death, right? If there was a chance you could somehow escape or survive Ray’s mutilation then you would…right? Well, after listening to these recordings you might decide the contrary. The tapes below are a spoken copy of the genuine script Ray used to play to his victims. Once he had them captured and tied to a chair, the girl would be forced to listen to the following before Ray started the ‘fun’. These are both pretty long but seriously, stick with it – it’s hard to even comprehend some of the depraved acts he’d force these girls to endure and the more you listen, the more you think, “fuck that, I’d rather a bullet to the head.” Check it out:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gV8EPMeu1X8

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nfzxQIhdcPA

9/11 Attacks

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The September 11 terrorist attacks remain one of the most monumental historical moments of our generation in the West, whether we want it to be or not. Within a month of the attacks America had declared war on Afghanistan and unfortunately it continues to this day to be used as fuel to the fire for the ongoing conflict between the Middle East and the US. Most of you will remember seeing the hijacked planes crashing into the twin towers of the World Trade Center, causing the death of nearly 3,000 people.

While watching the disaster unfold on the screen or thinking back to that significant moment, it’s easy to disassociate as we have become so desensitised to seeing endless tragic events on the news. However, these audio recordings really drive home the terror and provide a chilling picture of what these victims endured. The tape below is of two separate phone call conversations between victims Kevin Cosgrove and Melissa Doi and the emergency services. It’s truly horrific hearing the sheer panic and desperation in their voices as the conditions worsen and the hope of getting help seems so far away. So sad – R.I.P. to all of the victims of 9/11.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BGLfSn4LBuY

The Byron David Smith Killings

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The Byron Smith case is a bit of a weird one in that both the murderer and the murdered were victims of a crime. Back in 2012 on Thanksgiving Day, 18-year-old Haile Kifer and her cousin Nicholas Brady, 17, broke into the home of Byron David Smith, presumably to jack some of his shit.

Little did they know that Smith was sat in the basement waiting for them with a shotgun and an audio recorder set up on the bookshelf. You can hear as Smith shoots Brady upon entering the basement before turning the gun onto Kifer. But probably what’s even more disturbing is the aftermath. For several minutes Smith just sits there with the bodies, whispering to himself and uttering mental bullshit as if justifying his actions.

This recording was a key piece of evidence in his murder conviction – as you know in America residents have the right to shoot down intruders, but you can hear on the tape that this is far more sinister than a guy defending his home. Smith was a psychopath who used deviant techniques to lure these kids in before exterminating them in cold blood. In his words: “I don’t see them as human; I see them as vermin.” Really eerie.

Travis The Chimpanzee

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Back in 2009 Travis the male Chimpanzee (who appeared in advertisements and TV shows in the US) flipped out and brutally attacked the friend of his owner, 55-year-old Charla Nash. Travis mauled the woman, blinding her while tearing off her nose, ears, jaw and both her hands. Miraculously she survived, although she has had to endure rigorous reconstructive surgery and a full face transplant.

The recording below is of the 911 call made by Travis’s owner, Sandra Herold, as the incident is occurring. You can hear her erratically screaming at the operator to send the police as she relays the horrific details of the attack. It was so brutal that Sandra proclaims Charla is dead and she screams and begs for the police to have their guns ready while she hides out in her car. In case you were wondering, Travis was shot dead. Moral of the story – don’t keep chimpanzees as pets.

SpongeBob SquarePants

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And finally, what’s more terrifying than rape, murder, terrorist bombings and animal attacks combined? The SpongeBob SquarePants theme song played 800% slower. Sweet dreams everyone.

P.S. For more scary shit, check out this haunted Halloween house that is so terrifying, visitors have to sign a waiver to get in.