Hi! I’m a cat and I’m here to tell you what it’s like to be me. Only joking, I’m a human, and I fucking hate cats. They’re arrogant pricks. But, if I had to come back as anything in the next life, it would defo be a house moggy.
For some reason the house cat seems to have completely nailed it. They get to live in the lap of luxury without having to put in anywhere near the sort of effort that a dog has to.
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The ancient Egyptians liked sacrificing humans and worked their slaves into an early grave. But even they revered the humble feline. How did cats manage that? Like I said, personally, I think cats are right up their star-shaped anuses, but as a reincarnation option – yes please. And here’s why:
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1) The Basics
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You get free accommodation, free food, free heating. I know that’s the same for all pets, but cats get one extra level of freedom: if they get sick and tired of the food or accommodation, they can just fuck off next door, or down the road, or to the next town and start again. They have literally no loyalty at all.
And, if they’re really in a bind, they can just live in the wild for a bit. They don’t give two tiny cat shits. Obviously they prefer the warm, but if needs must they’ll be outta there.
Dogs, on the other hand, are prisoners. They have very little chance of escape, and as for living in the wild, most of them would have no chance at all.
