You’ve got to stick with us until the end of this. You have to. You know that episode of Friends where the gang are trying to get Phoebe to watch ‘It’s A Wonderful Life’ to cheer her up? But she taps out before the end of it and is suicidal? Well, if you leave us before the end here, you’re going to be driving to the nearest bridge to throw yourself off.

Ok, here goes: last week, a 95-year-old man named Bill called in to Southampton Solent Radio because “he felt so alone”. Bill listens to Radio Solent every day, but found a particular vested interest when there was a show on about finding love in later life.

Bill’s friend of 30 years Sheila lost her husband last year so Bill, being the gentleman (and baller) that he is, offered to step in as her carer. On June 2nd last year, they married at the age of 95. Shortly after this, Sheila fell ill and was moved into a nursing home to be cared for full-time. She was discovered to have dementia and colitis.

So now, after all these years and all this dedication, Bill told Radio Solent’s Alex Dyke that he just “feels so alone”. So Payne decided to invite the man in for a coffee if they send a cab over and Bill said “I’d love to”.

And so they did.

Bill described to Alex live on air, saying how it “hurts” the most when Sheila recognises and asks “we did get married on 2nd of June, didn’t we?”

Since, Bill has had a whole new brigade of buddies, one listener in particular has invited him over to his house this Christmas. By all accounts, he’s feeling much happier. The radio show have invited him back on the show whenever he’d like to return.

We’d like to invite him over too, but now that he’s the most popular guy in town, he won’t leave the house unless it’s for TV appearances and he has two broads on either arm. He kind of reminds of this 85-year-old guy who arranged a threesome with 18-year-old twins.