Over in Australia, a 22 year old woman named Bronwyn Joy Parker was recently on trial for trapping her boyfriend’s penis in-between her hair straighteners after she caught him cheating on her with an ex-girlfriend. The guy was left with third degree burns on both sides of his dick.  I know cheating is bad but Jesus – that sounds like pure torture.

Parker pleaded guilty to the charges – which occurred in December 2013 – this week and received a nine month jail sentence for her actions, but it was suspended provided she attended an 18 month good behaviour course. Here’s what District Court Judge Paul Muscat summed the case up on sentencing:

In short, his penis will be scarred for life and he will suffer from a number of issues, including the proper function of his penis, not to mention the cosmetic and psychological problems associated with the scarring to such a sensitive site.

Your boyfriend now requires constant medical attention and it will be two more years before it is fully healed.

You regularly abused him, including physically, if you suspected, or, if he admitted to being unfaithful to you. You were particularly jealous of his association with his ex-girlfriend.

The relationship got to the point where you both agreed that he would let you burn his testicles in your hair straighteners if you caught him cheating again.

Featured Image VIA

Image VIA 

He was unfaithful to you and had spent two nights with his ex-girlfriend and had sex with her. “When you found out about that, you reminded him of his promise to you.

He asked you ‘What about it?’ referring to the promise he had previously made.

You told him to remove his penis from his shorts, which he did.

He said that you could ‘tap it’ with the straighteners after he removed his penis, after you said that you were not going to burn his testicles.

You took his penis in your hand and then, with the other, you placed the straighteners on either side of the shaft of his penis before squeezing them momentarily.

I need not here say anything of the pain and shock which he then experienced.

Holy moly that sounds like something no guy should ever experience, except maybe if he was watching it happen in an Eli Roth movie. The victim’s penis was described as ‘swollen, blistering and pussy and black in colour’ following the incident. I’m not sure what ‘pussy’ means but that sounds absolutely like something I wouldn’t want to happen to the guy downstairs.

Parker – despite pleading guilty – seemed fairly unrepentant about her actions, offering the following statement during the trial:

To start off with, it looked brown around the outside and it didn’t look too bad, it just looked as if you had cooked a piece of meat.

Er what? This girl is clearly a psychopath so I urge you to take a note of her name in case you’re ever in Australia and come anywhere near her. Is this more messed up than when this woman cut off her cheating spouse’s penis TWICE though?