The Darwin Awards, for those who’ve not had the pleasure, are a set of imaginary prizes given to stupid people who have done the right thing and taken themselves out of the gene pool. It’s an honour bestowed on those that have stopped their own breeding capabilities in the nick of time by dying in a ridiculous way.
Today’s motley deceased teach us some words of warning about chemistry, physics and grenades…
Olympic Diver
Our first tale of woe starts its journey on the 39th floor of one of the Windy City’s mighty skyscrapers. Two attorneys were having a heated debate about the Olympics, the details of the discussion have been lost but the two learned men decided to solve their beef with a race down the corridor, like any grown up would.
Reginald, 29, was suffering from a scratched cornea so was running without his contacts in. This may have skewed his depth perception somewhat and he ended up smashing his way through a plate-glass window at the end of the sprint. 39 floors is a long way to drop and unsurprisingly he died on impact.
Moral of the story: don’t fall to your death from a skyscraper if you can avoid it. Or, don’t take sport so seriously, pick whichever moral you are most likely to obey.
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