5) The Holy Grail

The Holy Grail, as Indiana Jones will tell you, is supposed to be the cup that Jesus drank from during the Last Supper. There’s no mention of it in the Bible, although I think we can assume he did have some kind of cup to wet his whistle; but there’s no mention of it being particularly important or powerful.

People may as well search for the Holy Chair, or the Holy Plate that he used at that final meal.

The first mention of the Holy Grail was actually in the King Arthur legend, but it wasn’t a cup it was a magic cauldron. Later in history a poet – Robert de Boron – firmly lodged the Jesus-cup story in the world’s consciousness. According to one of his works, the cup was used by Joseph of Arimathea to collect Jesus’ blood and sweat after his crucifixion. This gave the chalice awesome magical powers.

But like I said, that was just a fictional poem, nothing to do with the Bible itself.

6) Booze Is A Sin

You’ll like this one: BOOZE IS NOT A SIN ACCORDING TO THE BIBLE. The holy book does ask you to only drink a sensible amount of wine if you are an elder, deacon or older woman, but other than that, go for your life! Although it does say you shouldn’t get drunk in Ephesians… boo.

7) The Antichrist

The Antichrist is in the Bible, but he’s not the kind of person most people think he is. Nowadays millions of Christians around the world are looking out for a silver-tongued megalomaniac who will beckon in the end times from his seat in government. Worryingly many voters in the US and the UK are voting in people who they think are less likely to be the Antichrist, rather than voting in those that are less likely to be shit at their job.

The Bible mentions the Antichrist four times in all, but rather than a singular demonic ne’er-do-well, it’s just referring to anyone who doesn’t believe in Christ. So when you go down the pub later today you can tell your friends you are the Antichrist, and biblically you’ll be spot on.

8) Hell

Although Hell is certainly mentioned in the Bible it’s not described at any great length. It just says there will be “wailing and gnashing of teeth” and it mentions that it’s not very much fun there, and that there’s fire.

The elaborate stories that surround Hell have come from artists like Hieronymous Bosch and Dante who described the 9 circles of Hell in minute detail, without having ever been there.

Artists once again have to get some credit for the imagery Hell brings to mind. Painters who wanted to paint for a living had to work for the church because they were the only people with any cash to splash. And the church liked scaring people into attending their sermons, so Hell had to be depicted somehow, and it had to look bad.

Contrary to popular opinion, Hell isn’t ruled by Satan and demons either. Satan was himself an angel who was banished to Hell where he is now imprisoned. So he’s having a sucky time down there too.

I hope I cleared that up for you, I certainly learned something along the way. If you’re enjoying the Bible vibe, why not read about some of the mad stories that actually are in there, it’s completely bonkers. Enjoy.