THE DIRTY OL’ DEAR
Every retail jungle is blessed with a middle-aged matron, who appears all cuddly and maternal, but her tongue is as coarse as a Skegness factory floor.
She has a gift for twisting the most innocent of sentences into a double entendres, inevitably followed by her catchphrase cackle. She can extract vulgarity from any situation, conjuring smut from thin air.
Pinching fresh-faced 16 year old’s arses and causing inanimate objects to blush, she’ll riotously flirt with anyone in range, regardless of age or appearance.
Unashamedly referring to her great, dangling tits on a minutely basis, her formidable uncouthness is legendary; it will even melt the cuntishness of the powers that be.
☛ Read Next: Confessions Of An Apple Store Employee
