Sweet baby Jesus his voice is like honey. My breasts become swollen with milk ready to feed his future child just at the exact moment he starts doing that casual talking-over-the-instrumental-breakdown thing (hold me).

I was brought up in a fairly MJ dominated household, and in some ways I’m glad for this, as I feel my life would not have progressed this much thus far if mama hadn’t hid the honey. I assume she must have tried at points in my childhood, but may have noticed the yearning in my eyes and made a concerted family decision to protect my innocence.

So the first time I heard this track my period started randomly and far too early. Hours later, I found myself cradling a tepid hot water bottle and spooning ice cream into my mouth, his honey voice still on repeat… still floating in the wind. At the time, I could picture myself remaining in that position until I was elderly and infertile.

Now none of that was sexy but becoming too ripe too soon forced me to conclude this track must reach decibels that are sensitive to the groin area. Making this an essential for oral stimulation. If played with caution, my theory is your partner will have no option but to open their legs, blossom like a flower in spring and welcome you to buzz around and collect their pollen. They’ll be forced to sit back and listen — and if you’re well versed — it may even feel like Prince himself is whispering sweet nothing’s into their secret garden.

Unfortunately it seems impossible to find this song on YouTube – the only one we could find is HERE and we can’t embed it so click on that link if you want to hear it.

Tip: D’Angelo’s classic ‘Untitled (How Does it Feel)’ is aptly named for a bit of ‘suck and swallow’ action too. Perhaps flick between the two. Did you see what I did there? Yes. Yes you did.