There’s a big difference between doing stuff because you respect and love your boo and doing stuff because you fear her. That’s the major difference between a normal relationship and an “under the thumb” slog.

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Relationships should be even and balanced and fair. If you find the shelves very much stacked in your partner’s favour maybe you should have a word with her, or, if that’s too scary, have a word with yourself about growing your own testicles.

If you’re concerned that your relationship is getting out of hand and you’re more of a slave than a partner, see if any of these points below describe you. If you fit into all 5 categories, then I’m afraid to say, you are fucked:

1) Leaving The Loo Seat Down

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This discussion is probably as old as toilet seats themselves. I’ve never properly understood it myself. Why is it that women insist that the seat has to be left down? I know they need it to be in the down position when they use it, but surely they can just, I don’t know, put it down their fucking selves?

We need the seat in the up position for pissing and the down position for shitting, we’ve got enough going on without having to remember how they want it left for when their ample ass approaches.

If you always position the seat for your girlfriend’s next theoretical bog visit in fear of retaliation – you are under the thumb BIG time.

Let her shift her own fucking seat. Lazy bitch.