5) Other Musicians

Before I start this polemic, I must slip in a caveat: most musicians are good guys, like most humans are in general. My band mates are swell, and most of the other people I’ve ever played with are swell too. But as with most walks of life, the minority ruin it for everyone else.

I rehearse with my merry little band of chaps every Tuesday, it’s a fun time but it does mean running the gauntlet of other musicians.

Rather than tainting all musicians, from now on I will refer to the type of musicians I dislike as the ‘holy’ ones. I use that term because for some reason (certainly unrelated to their level of talent) they think they are god-like. The holy ones strut about, often with a great deal of chest visible, as if they are sodding Elvis. Their opinion of themselves is so high that it means they don’t even have to acknowledge you, and they certainly don’t have to thank you for letting them go first, or holding a door for them etc.

Why do they have such a high opinion of themselves? Because they play some less than average Indie songs with a bunch of complete knobs on a very expensive guitar, which they can barely play.

When you’re using a busy rehearsal space, you book in your 3 hour session and arrive a bit early so you’re ready to go when the band before you vacates the room. If you’re in the holy category of musicians you turn up late, complain about everything and then run over your allotted time by 5-10 minutes because you’re too busy discussing how excellent you are to pack down your stuff and frig off.

I’m a relatively impatient person, I arrive on time for things because otherwise what’s the point of setting a time? If I have to literally pay for a bunch of complete bell-boys to pack down their stuff whilst I wait around tutting, and they don’t make any kind of effort to speed up or apologise then I am an angry man.

Holy musicians are the scum of the earth. You’re only playing a bunch of songs you pillock, you ain’t no Jesus. IT’S JUST A BUNCH OF SONGS. Posers.

Ahhh… I feel better, I needed to let off some steam there. Will I continue to put myself through the boredom and hassle? As long as I get to hit things really hard (my drums), yup.