I’ve been playing in bands off and on for almost two decades, so there must be something I like about it. When you tell someone you’re in a band they often say something like “wow that’s cool!” or “awesome! Can I play triangle?”.

In reality, being in a band is actually a pretty big ball-ache, unless you’re in U2 or Coldplay or one of them fat pay cheque outfits. The good bit about being in a band is that you get to hang out down the studio, get drunk and make a massive noise without anyone winging and complaining about it. On top of that, if you’re a drummer you get to hit things as hard as you like for hours, and rather than getting a telling off for it you’re are commended and applauded for your violence.

So it’s not all bad, but there are certain things that make being in a band less than super fun and a royal ring burn. Maybe I’m getting too old? Nah.

1) Waiting

When you go and watch a band, you turn up, you watch them smash away for half an hour, you applaud, then you continue with your evening. If you’re actually playing the gig it’s a lot more long-winded; you normally have to leave work early and lose a couple of hours pay (or more if it’s out of town). You get your stuff ready, then you lug it into the van, then you lug it out of the van, then you lug it up or down some stairs (normally). Then you wait in the venue. Normally there’s some idiot who’s supplying a bit of kit that’s essential for sound check who’s running late. He finally arrives and without a single apology and you all finally start setting up for sound check.

Sound checks rarely go well. Promoters these days pack as many bands on a bill as they can. This means that you basically get to play one chord of a song before being growled at by the cranky, sleep deprived, stressed to buggery sound guy and forced to pack up you stuff and get off again having achieved nothing.

So you get off the stage with literally no idea whether your mic was even turned on. It’s now 6 pm, you’re playing in 4 hours. You’re sat in a bar or a club, why not start drinking? NO. You can’t, you’ll be the wrong side of tipsy by 10 pm, you must abstain, go for a walk, talk to the other band members… Four hours is a long time. Maybe you could chill out backstage? Oh there isn’t one. Why not just stand around nervously twitching? OK, I will.

10 pm comes and goes, you’ll have to cut your set short, they’re running over. What a surprise. I don’t care I just want to get it over with.

And you’re on stage, all 12 of the crowd are looking at you. Adrenaline fuelled blur ensues. And you’re off. If you’re lucky people will clap, if you’re not, they won’t.

Then you wait around a bit more until all the bands have finished. Now you are drunk and pretty unstable so it’s time to shift massive speakers and heavy drum hardware down the rickety fire escape and wait for the van driver who’s forgotten he’s meant to pick you up.

Home, finally. Ten hours since you left work you’re down £50 quid and up a bunch of blisters. Was it worth it?